How to be a Family Advocate

An advocate simply someone who speaks, writes for or is present for your cause or a cause.

And we do not "supply" the laws.  We are not attorneys.  I may find a specific case law in dire times. But the tools are the search engines and teaching someone to learn how to use these tools effectively so they may learn to help themselves, is essential.  Or I am going to be doing it all for them. 

That is not advocacy.   

An advocate is exhausted at the end of the day.  The diverse nature of being an advocate falls under the place/hours of just about anywhere/anytime.  It could be the 2am phone call of "Help, the police are here." A ride to court, to the supermarket, counseling, etc.

The sanctity and privacy of anyone I advocate for is tantamount to that of my own.

NEVER force your opinions or beliefs on the person you are advocating for.  I do feel that all people really do have a pretty good idea of what they desire as the outcome of their case and a fairly good way to get there.  I just support their decisions and offer as much support as I can.  

It is a committed desire to help others move forward and sink CPS.  It is a lot of tears.  A lot of laughs. And I have met some really wonderful people.  The best!

I am no longer referred to as a "trouble maker," but as an Advocate for the Family.  Actually, respected by most. 

Advocacy is not doing, but showing and giving the options and tools to help the families.  Sometimes, yes, I do fill out the forms, as the family dictates what they want to say.  They attest to the accuracy and we go from there.

Advocacy is being there for the family through the thick and thin of this ordeal.

Writing to the newspapers, and more. 

This is a role where you learn as you go along.

When you have time, try just sitting in on several Courts/Judges and get a feel for what is going on. Also, pay attention to the attorneys and Prosecution.

GET TO KNOW THE CLERKS FOR ALL THE JUDGES.  This is a nice "in." 

In some instances, I write an Amicus Brief, Friend of the Court (No, not a real friendly friend, this is just a term), for the family.  This has a bit of punch, and the family writes their own affidavit, too.

You can find CAPTA and ASFA, Title IV-E and B all in the Federal Child Abuse Laws on   http://www.cpswatch.com 

I keep these and my State's (and a few others) Last Audit (these are only conducted every 12 years) in binders and carry them with me.

The knowing these laws is not as important (IT IS IMPORTANT, don't get me wrong) as knowing your way physically around the Government Agencies, Courts, Law Libraries and Services--preferably non-government--for any family that you advocate for. And knowing your local laws. And  Rules of Procedure.  

Your presence for advocacy is a godsend to these families.

The rest will come--all that reading can wait when you are inbetween families, waiting in a dr.s office, etc.  This is not reading you can digest and know how to apply overnight.

Think of it like On The Job Training. Your classroom is Out There In The Community.  The Families will guide you to know what they need.  You supply the tools.  Sometimes the voice, when they are too terrified to speak.  Just speak what the family's desires/wishes are and not your own.

At the end of each day, post your questions, and also, what works for you, here.  NETWORKING.  Also, those real bad or rough days--you need to vent and get it out...here is good, too.  Or call or e-mail another advocate private. 

ALWAYS KEEP THE PRIVACY OF ANY FAMILY TANTAMOUNT TO THAT OF YOUR OWN. 

In the beginning and up to three years, ago, Yes, I had gag orders and more.  I never quit.  Never backed down.  I was not "in their face" or rude or arrogant. I just found the laws that said YES, I CAN DO THIS and THIS and brought it before the Court. 

After enough pursuant to blah, blah of Section of whatever law, the Judges learned that I was not going away.  Yes, they respect me.  (There is one that wishes I would go away, and it is her that is going away)

I leave my name, PO Box addy and physical addy and phone numbers on everything.  I am not hiding.  Don't. Do  you know what it is like to have to scan the legal section of newspapers to see if you were served that way?  NOOOOO, put your identification on everything.  Easier.  Cut to the chase.

Sheryl Lane-McGrath
Orange County
New York State